Friday, December 30, 2005 @ 8:17 PM
today, i went to watch the sunrise. yep- i didn't sleep yesterday night. (: played neopets. hey, i think it's fun okayy? (: i like XEETOK. it's SO cute. (: i named my DASHIEE.
thought the day was cloudy- but the sunrise was still beautiful. the sceneries that the Lord has created has always been a beauty. (: oh God, thank you for creating such beautiful things. harhar.
me, rachel and krisstle played a little of soccer and we rode bicycle. funn. and we took lotsa of photo and man- IT WAS HARD TIME KAYY? -.-;
anyways- dashiee's really cute. (:
and then, i skipped narnia to visit my grandpa. my uncle fetched me and my mum to hospital. on the way- they went to wash his photo- his funeral photo.
yes. they've decided that if he wasn't going to wake up tomorrow- he'll be announced dead.
mum didn't tel me anything. but i figured out. i mean, why wash his photo and buy wooden frame for no reason? my grandpa's not obsessed with himself. and my mum did tell me that tomorrow might be his last day and i had to reach the hospital at 7 am tomorrow. and my mum cried to my grandpa, pleading him to wake up. saying he slept too much and tomorrow's coming. he should wake up.
my grandpa laid there, unmoved.
at that point of time, i cried. i may look all happy and cheery to you guys but yes, i'm someone who cries too. i cried, and for once, i was pleading my grandpa to come back to life.
after a few more moments, i went out of ICU, and i started talking to God.
God, why?
why was i so emotional? it doesn't really matter. in fact, i told God, please heal my grandpa. but if You won't and You decided it was time for him to go, let it be. i'm sure whatever the outcome may be, it's according to your plan. and if it's Your plan, i will follow. 'cause i know it's the best plan for me. and no matter what may come my way in the future to stop me from getting closer to You, God, i'll still stand in you. God is too real in my life. there's no way i could make myself stop following Him.
i felt a lot better after spending some time with God and reading the Bible at RC block before RC was open. i was there alone, spending my own time with God, talking to Him, listening to Him. i prayed to God that i'll know Him more, 'cause i realize i don't really really know Him. and yes, i got to know Him so much more after i read the six chapters from deuteronomy. i understand more about His love for us. and i understand how much He wanted us to receive the good gifts.
i felt so refreshed. (:
i know it's going to be real tough for me from now on- no matter what the outcome may be tomorrow. but one thing for sure- i'll clung onto my God till the end of the race where i'll see Him face to face.
amen. (: